How You Leave Texas by Alana Cash
Age Group: Adult
Release Date: April 30, 2013
HOW YOU LEAVE TEXAS is a volume of four unique stories about four young women who leave Midland, Austin, Fort Worth and Mayville, Texas for New York, California, Jakarta, and in one instance, jail. These young women seek escape from boredom and sorrow and find it. Told with humor and pathos, here are the synopses:
DAM BROKE – after high school graduation, two quirky best friends reveal big secrets.
In sixth grade, I abandoned the reading glasses for a blond wig and a fake mole above my top lip. Mickey started wearing sunglasses indoors and carrying business cards.
CAMILLE'S NET WORTH – on her 40th birthday, Camille’s life falls apart in uncontrolled demolition. Life improves when she gets a job creating art paper and returns to painting. But the plot twists and she ends up in jail, laughing.
KRYSTAL'S WEDDING – Heading for New York, Krystal leaves behind her shoddy family in Midland, Texas. Ill-prepared for the culture shock and expense, she takes a few slippery steps before she finds true independence.
Krystal’s family wasn’t an American success story. Mom felt like life had cheated her since Daddy never made any real money and spent most nights getting drunk at the Welcome Inn. Erin never finished beauty school and worked at a donut shop. Bethany worked as a bar-back at the Rusty Nail and was turning out like Daddy. Alcoholic, back-slapping, charming. Eddie Garthwaite, owner of Garthwaite Used Cars located on Interstate 20 between Midland and Odessa. Eddie Garthwaite who currently had his driver’s license suspended because of a DUI.
FRYING YOUR BURGER – Nicky and her friends spend mornings slinging repartee in a coffee shop. While paying a traffic fine, she meets a director and soon finds herself a pawn for two directors trying to ruin each others careers.
I went into the room marked Cashier and got into a long line. And there he was. Grinning that grin. He should have had a license for it. It was that bright. I stood next to him in my white t-shirt and white pants looking like someone straight out of the 'hospital orderly fashion catalogue.' It was all I had clean that day.
I picked up the phone and called Mehta.
When he answered I asked, “Do you want to meet me somewhere and hang out for a while?”
“I can’t. I’m in the middle of tinting the hair under my arms.”
“Mehta, I’m in a quandary.”
“That guy Zach called and we’ve got a date to meet at his house on Saturday night.”
“Did he mention anything about electric appliances or a collie suit?”
“A live studio audience.”
“Acrobatics? Bondage? A trained flea circus?”
“I can understand your quandary. I wouldn’t want to go either.”
“It’s not going I’m worried about. It’s leaving.”
“Just don’t leave anything behind,” he said. “Hold on a minute, the timer just went off.”
He put the phone down and I heard water running in the background. Mehta rinsing his armpits. Then there was silence as he viewed his underarm handiwork in the mirror.
“Now where were we,” he said when he picked up the phone again.
“How does it look?”
“Cheerful. Now, about the date.”
“I’m not sure I’ll have a good time.”
“My, what a poor attitude. If you don’t have a good time, steal something.”
“Take a little souvenir. An ashtray, a towel, a Ming vase.”
“Anything you particularly want for your apartment?”
“Let me think. I’d like something crystal. You can never have enough crystal.”
“You don’t have any crystal.”
“See what I mean.”
Alana Cash is an adventurer. She’s trekked alone through war-torn Serbia and has slept in a KGB interrogation room in Prague. She’s been to a gypsy fair in rural England, a bullfight in Laredo, and parasailing in Acapulco. She’s been inside the New York Stock Exchange and eaten in J. Pierpont Morgan’s home dining room. She's gone on a ride-along in a New York City patrol car and kissed a man inside the Norman Bates Psycho house at Universal Studios. She’s been a lifeguard, legal secretary, accountant, writer, teacher, filmmaker and artist.
Giveaway: Alana will be awarding a screen printed camisole (What Happens in the Bedroom Stays in the Bedroom) to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour as well as a screen printed Brass Nuts t-shirt to another commenter. Also, everyone who reviews the book will receive their choice of a camisole or T-shirt.