Blog Post: The Black Tongue of Death...

So, this morning the craziest thing happened. I woke up, pried myself out of bed at an ungodly hour and then went to the bathroom so I could start my morning routine. I got out my toothpaste slathered it on my toothbrush and then did the next logical thing. I opened my mouth to brush my teeth and what I saw almost sent me into some kind of cardiac arrest.

My tongue was black. BLACK...How does that even happen? I legit thought I was dying. I think I might have hyperventilated a little and starting writing my will in my head wondering if I would have enough time to get it on paper before I keeled over. (Yea, so okay I'm a little dramatic, but hello did I mention my tongue was BLACK?!?)

Then I thought hey why don't I just scrape it off? So I took my toothbrush and brushed my tongue, okay fine, more like scrubbed the ever loving shit out of it and low and behold the black came off. It left a crazy disgusting mess in the sink and, but it was off my tongue. Now after inspecting my tongue in the mirror for close to twenty minutes (yes, I poked it) I had calmed down enough to rationalize that I probably wasn't dying.

So, I turned on my computer and Googled that shit because Google holds the answers to all of life's questions. And I found out the cause; Pepto Bismol! The chemicals inside of it react with the sulfur that the saliva gives off and BOOM black tongue.

I had an upset stomach last night, so I took one not long before falling asleep, dear god I will never take one again! Waking up with a black tongue took about twenty years off my life. In conclusion if you ever wake up with a black tongue it's probably from the Pepto so don't freak out like I did...Death is not knocking just yet.